


Facade of Appeasement

by zarabithia



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-10
Updated: 2006-07-10
Packaged: 2019-04-06 23:47:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14068224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: "Why are you still staring at pictures of Oliver Queen dressed up like a gay male hooker?"





	Facade of Appeasement

  
Clark had certain _issues_ that made having a relationship with the man trying at times, frustrating at others, and nearly impossible the rest of the time. His recent " _you need to have fun more often and work less"_ attitude was just such an issue. It was a ridiculous suggestion and Clark certainly ought to know better, and Bruce was tempted to just ignore it entirely. But, unlike most other people Bruce had known, Clark was much better in bed when he was _happy_ and pretty mediocre when he wasn't. There were other. . . _beneficial_ aspects to their relationship, as well, and for those reasons, Bruce was attempting to give the facade of appeasement until Clark latched onto another _issue_ and left this one alone.  
  
It wasn't surrender, but let the Boy Scout think it was.  
  
Thus, when three o'clock rolled around, Batman was ready to take the chance that both Oracle and the Bat Signal would alert him of any danger that required his attention. He had dismissed Robin, had shut down the Bat Computer, and was perfectly ready to settle into bed with his lover.  
  
Who was _late_.  
  
Apparently, the earthquake was giving Clark more trouble than Superman had anticipated. Purely in the interest of making sure Superman didn't need backup, Bruce sat back down in front of the Bat Computer. Upon discovering that everything was fine and that Clark had merely stopped to help Arthur with an oil spill, Bruce saw no reason he couldn't get a few more minutes of monitoring completed.  
  
Judging by the rate of the heated breath on his neck, Clark apparently disagreed with his logic. That happened a lot, actually.  
  
"Oil spill all taken care of?"  
  
"Yes. Has an emergency come up?" Emergencies Clark understood. Why he couldn't understand Batman's efforts to _prevent_ emergencies, Bruce had no idea.  
  
". . . No."  
  
He didn't need to turn around and look to know that Clark was standing in the infamous up, up, and away pose. He didn't _need_ to, but he did anyway. He was right about the hands on the hips but he hadn't figured in the additional detail of Clark glaring at the Bat Computer as though he'd like nothing more than to heat-vision the device out of existence. In fact, Bruce was pretty sure he wasn't imagining the slight glow of red in Clark's eyes as he glared at the screen. _That_ was a new development.  
  
"So if there's no real emergency, why are you staring at a picture of Oliver Queen dressed up like . . ." Clark's voice trailed off as his inner farm boy's prudishness overtook his anger.  
  
"Like a gay male hooker?"  
  
"Yes. Actually, why _is_ Ollie dressed like that?"  
  
"He's undercover. There have been several severe gay bashings in his city lately and he's gone undercover as a prostitute to catch the creep in question."  
  
"He's gone undercover as _Oliver Queen,_ gay male prostitute _?_ Has he completely given up the pretense of having a secret identity?"  
  
"I'm sure he'll be complaining about people knowing what his identity is in a few years." Ollie was a decent soldier, but he wasn't overly bright.  
  
"Did he ask for your help?"  
  
Bruce stifled a sigh. "No. There was a similar case in Gotham a few years ago. I wanted to eliminate the possibility of it being the same culprit."  
  
It was perfectly sound logic. But, as had happened many times in the past, logic sailed right over Clark's pretty little head as he decided to focus on entirely irrelevant subject matter. "You've been looking at that picture an _awfully long time."_  
  
Bruce started to defend himself by pointing out that he'd _been_ ready, and had upheld his end of Clark's recent issues, and that it had been Clark who had been late. But then he took another look at the glare Clark was giving the Bat Computer and realized that Clark's unasked question wasn't " _why are you still working?"_ but rather, " _why are you still staring at pictures of Oliver Queen dressed up like a gay male hooker?"_  
  
Clark wasn't angry. He was jealous.  
  
That changed Bruce's plan entirely. The sex might not have been very good when Clark was angry, but when he was jealous, it was several degrees of incredible. Bruce was completely aware of the fact that this made no sense, much like Clark himself.  
  
"You know, you're right." As he leaned forward to switch off the machine, he inflicted just enough of 'Playboy Bruce' into his voice to have the effect he was hoping for. "I must have gotten. . .distracted."  
  
"Distracted?"  
  
"That is quite the outfit. And Ollie doesn't do a shabby job filling it out, either."  
  
As Clark was dragging him up the stairs, Bruce had to concede that Clark's positive issues far outweighed the bad.  
  



End file.
